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News Briefs 30-06-2017

Updated edition

Quote of the Day:

Everything is dumb right now. From nose to tail, we have become the dumbest, saddest pig at the county fair. Historians will not refer to this period as THE DARK AGES, but rather, THE DUMB AGES

Chuck Wendig

Editor
  1. “It Shall be Significant.” -Kung Pow
    I’ve been thinking about that verse in the Book of Genesis that states, “Let us make man in our own image/likeness.” What this seems to be saying is that the gods (more-or-less collectively) bred our species with a cross-section of traits in order to deliberately reflect the distinct natures of the various space-faring races (greys, arcturians, etc.) in our galaxy. In mankind you have significant diversity in personality traits and along many scales, e.g., from passive to aggressive to passive-aggressive! You have varying degrees of selfishness and altruism, and so forth. We are a effectively “tribute race”.

    What could be the purpose of such a project? Was it intended to express or cultivate solidarity among the various alien factions? Was it intended to be an experiment, i.e., to find out what combinations of traits produce what kind of results? Was it merely done on a whim or for amusement? Do they place bets on outcomes (ala the movie Rat Race, lol)?

  2. A story…about fake news
    Last weekend I was over at a friend’s store as a vendor selling things. She came running outside and said a salt water crocodile had been spotted off our coast only a few blocks from us. We live in New Jersey USA. Now I immediately realized that this was fake because I know salt water crocs are only found in the Pacific especially around the Australia (I watched a lot of Steve Irwin as a kid). However my friend was convinced that the photo on the site was legit. Now this website is apparently designed for making prank news stories, however they are honest about it and state so on the site. And low and behold I looked at my friend’s computer screen, and there in gigantic letters at the bottom it reads “YOU’VE BEEN PRANKED” with a laughing emoji. This friend is someone who voted for Trump, watches Fox and claims everything else is fake news. And she got fooled by this. We don’t even get alligators up this far our water is too cold. The water temp in the ocean last weekend was 65F. The croc wouldn’t be able to move because of it’s cold blood. I think this story sums up the logic behind many, not all, but many American voters 😛

  3. How to Make a Info-Wars Conspiracy Theory: A Guide
    Step 1: Write a bunch of words on a piece of paper and cut out each word individually.

    Step 2: Place words in hat and have employees pull out a word. If hat is not available, simply throw paper into the air.

    Step 3: Place words together on a cork board until they fit into a “theory.”

    Step 4: Make sure the tin foil hat you are wearing is fully cutting off the circulation to your brain.

    Step 5: Place new collection of words on the interwebs as a theory.

    Step 6: Sit back and watch fire burn.

    And now you know, and knowing is half the battle 😛

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