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UFO Chart

UFOs Explained: It’s the Alcohol Silly!

A new low in UFO debunkery from The Economist, with the chart above suggesting that UFO sightings are simply a function of people drinking too much alcohol.

[T]he National UFO Reporting Centre, a non-profit, has catalogued almost 90,000 reported sightings of UFOs, mostly in America, since 1974. It turns out that aliens are considerate. They seldom disturb earthlings during working or sleeping hours. Rather, they tend to arrive in the evening, especially on Fridays, when folks are sitting on the front porch nursing their fourth beer, the better to appreciate flashing lights in the heavens (see chart). The state aliens like best is Washington—a finding that pre-dates the legalisation of pot there. Other popular destinations are also near the Canadian border, where the Northern lights are sometimes visible. UFOs tend to shun big cities, where there are lots of other lights, and daylight hours, when people might think they were just aeroplanes.

The numbers obviously have nothing to do with the fact that ‘drinking hours’ strangely coincide with the time of day that most people would notice something in the sky (night-time), but are not yet asleep. I totally expected that the highest number of sightings of things in the sky would be when people are asleep in their bedrooms… (/snark).

Editor
  1. Zzzzz
    Did they even bother to check the average hour people go to sleep in those states? Call me crazy, but I’m guessing folks at Seattle tend to stay up later at night than farmers from Iowa…

  2. arizona lights
    Remember those? I remember some guy coming forward a while back, he didn’t want to show his face. He took responsibility for them. Apparently he and a bunch friends got drunk and set off a huge pile of roman candles.

    …’murica 😛

    1. I routinely read the MUFON
      I routinely read the MUFON reports for my home state of Arkansas. A repeating scenario – someone steps out of the home in the late evening to smoke a cigarette just before going to bed. Invariably, the idler watches the night sky and its stars wheeling overhead. That’s when they see the stuff.

      1. Just now checking MUFON’s
        Just now checking MUFON’s sighting reports for Arkansas I found this below. Couldn’t resist. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Poor fellow.

        “Long Description of Sighting Report

        ABOUT 18 OTHER PEOPLE INCLUDING MYSELF WERE WALKING HOME FROM WESTERN HILLS TO MEADOWCLIFF THROUGH THE PARK FOR A SHORTCUT. WE WE’RE CLOSE TO THE MIDDLE OF THE GOLF COURSE WHEN IT HAPPENED; A BRIGHT, BLINDING LIGHT ALL OVER AND AROUND US APPEARED. IT SEEMED LIKE WE WERE ALL SUSPENDED IN A TIME LIKE STILL FRAME. I COULDN’T SEE MY HANDS IN FRONT OF MY FACE AND THEN WHAT SEEMED LIKE ONLY MEER SECONDS, EVERYTHING WAS BLACK. SO BLACK I COULDN’T SEE MY HANDS IN FRONT OF MY FACE AGAIN. THERE WAS NO SOUND UNTIL EVERYTHING WENT BLACK. THEN EVERYONE STARTED FREAKING OUT. SCREAMING FROM THE TERROR OF IT ALL. WHEN IT WAS ALL OVER AND A FRIEND AND I MADE IT TO HIS HOUSE AND HAD DISCOVERED THAT HIS ANALOG SELF WINDING WATCH HAD STOPPED. WHAT SEEMED LIKE JUST A FEW SECONDS WAS IN REALITY TWO HOURS EXACTLY. UNTIL THIS VERY DAY, I DON’T KNOW WHERE WE WERE TAKEN OR WHAT KIND OF SPHERE WE WERE TAKEN IN. BUT I ACTUALLY FELT LIKE I HAD LEFT THIS EARTH AND WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE. WHILE IN THE BRIGHT LIGHT, IT WAS SO PEACEFUL, LIKE A FEELING OF GRATITUDE. SO INTENSE THAT I HAVE PRAYED, WAITED AND HOPED THAT THEY WOULD COME FOR ME AGAIN. SINCE THAT SPECIAL NIGHT I HAVE WENT TO THE VERY SAME PLACE EVERY YEAR SINCE THE INCIDENT TOOK PLACE IN 1982. HOPING MAYBE SOME NIGHT THEY WILL APPEAR FROM OUT OF KNOWHERE AND TAKE ME FROM THIS GOD FORSAKEN SPHERE. I HAVE HAD DREAMS OF THIS EVER SINCE IT HAPPENED AND I’VE ALWAYS AWKENED CRYING, SCREAMING PLEASE TAKE ME, TELLING THEM THAT I LOVE THEM. PLEASE TAKE ME.

        AS I WAS SITTING HERE WRITING YOU THIS TRUE EVENT, I STRONGLY FEEL LIKE THEY ARE WATCHUNG OVER ME AND WANTING ME TO TELL ONLY SPECIAL PEOPLE SUCH AS YOURSELVES ABOUT THEM. AND ONE OTHER THING, SINCE THE INCIDENT, I’VE FOUND MYSELF FREAKING OTHER PEOPLE OUT BY FINISHING THEIR SENTENCES AND STORIES FOR THEM. WORD FOR WORD. I DIDN’T KNOW A THING ABOUT ELECTRONICS BEFORE ALL THIS HAPPENED. AFTER IT HAPPENED I FOUND MYSELF FIXING AND REPAIRING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ELECTRONICAL EXCEPT FOR ONE THING, I CANNOT WEAR DIGITAL OR ANALOG WATCHES. THEY STOP WORKING NO MORE THAN 8 OR 10 SECONDS AFTER I PUT THEM ON.

        THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. I REALLY DO WISH THEY WOULD COME BACK FOR ME”

  3. Something else to consider
    Something else to consider according to that map: western states have a much wider view of the sky than states elsewhere in the country. Oh, and aliens really dig coffee shops… 🙂

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